Sometimes I have days like today. Days that I feel useless and sad. Days that I prefer to stay at home and hide from the world
Whispers, mean whispers keep saying that I am ugly, fat and shameless. They are like the mirror, however they just come to my mind when I feel weak and unprotected.
I am falling down, losing myself to the darkness. My consciousness is fading away and I just want to punish my body: cut my wrist and scratch my face.
YOU ARE A GREEDY, FAT AND UGLY STUPID GIRL, YOU ARE TOTALLY PALTRY. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU, NOT EVEN YOURSELF. YOU ARE MISERABLE. THE CURE FOR YOU IS DEATH.
It is terrible to deal with this, I ask myself many many times: why do I feel this? What is the reason for my own disrespect? Why do I let voices convince me of such bad things?
I am so scared, really scared. I do not want to show myself to the world. I am afraid of their judgments, their comments. They look at me with disrespect and contempt.
I feel lonely, I need help and hope. It would be perfect to find a place where there is no traits, no labels, no judgments and no concepts of superiority or inferiority. It would be great. I would be happy there.
Hey Hey, is there someone there that can help me? Helping me to open my eyes and see beauty in myself. I need, I really, really need.
I can't do it alone. The voices took the best of me and now I do not have the strength to fight them.
There are always days like today. The good news: tomorrow the sun will come again. Hopefully I will feel better, because inside myself I believe that I am beautiful in my way. I just need to be fully convinced.
All the best wishes
Please smile and be happy